Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Louis' LiveJournal:

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Thursday, January 15th, 2004
12:02 am	moved to carollton. actually a small suburb close by. mind you, a small suburb of a shitty small town ...........is an even shittier smaller town. got no phone or internet. been looking into cell phone plans. but im off the couch at psiu. since i havent had any phone or internet, ive only talked to people a few times or checked email or chatted on aim at labs once or twice. this isnt wholly bad (few things rarely are, but thats another topic). i havent been as lonely cut off from people as i would have thought. so ive decided to quit livejournal and chatting online. its just not fulfilling. so if you want to talk, you know where to find me or ask someone at psiu. -louis (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 10th, 2003
5:27 am	I have put my poetry on the web. here is the link to my friends page that has it up. http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gtg473q/index/index.html doh, but now that i checked it there are some 404 errors. ah well more work for later. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 2nd, 2003
7:54 am	the blur of twilight signals the movement of time. continously tired, alone. the distance between late night thoughts and early morning motivations growing smaller, weighted down by loneliness and confusion. my words fall to the floor, stale; and sometimes my gaze remembers someone was talking, but had forgotten the words. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 10th, 2003
7:50 pm	got horribly sick yesterday. missed hanging out at atari's place to watch movies. upside, a few hours ago i started to feel better. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 8th, 2003
10:55 pm	the male version, you cannot describe yourself as wise. i find that amusing, as for all the women ive ever known, i havent known one that was wise. yeah i know, the whole women are intuitive/wise women steretype, but all the other aspects of wisdom ive never seen in the women i know. http://quizilla.com/users/EerieFreek/quizzes/What%20would%20your%20Japanese%20name%20be%3F%20(female)/ (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 28th, 2003
6:01 am	sometimes I envy people their social training. ive always had trouble dealing with people. even after years of trying to figure stuff out. oh, i can get along well enough watching movies or stuff like that. but throw me in a large party or when someone has an attitude and suddenly everything feels uncertain. and its strange, cause all alone everything is certain, i know myself. i know exactly what i am and who i want to be and what i want to do. but i dont know my place in relation to the rest of the world. i dont know how to get what i want. there just doesnt seem to be a place for a thoughtful person that doesnt care about glamour, wit, appearance. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 26th, 2003
6:00 pm	I cannot escape my other half What Is Your Battle Cry? Running on the mountains, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a vorpal blade, cometh Louis! And he gives a booming howl: "In the name of Thor the Mighty, I hereby snap and go berzerk!!" Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ? created by beatings : powered by monkeys (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 16th, 2002
3:52 pm	headed to florida the 18th. im looking forward to running on the beach again. things uncertain about school, but if all goes well, then i should be attending georgia perimeter jan 5th. (Comment on this)
Friday, August 30th, 2002
3:37 am	I wrote this a long time ago, but found it fitting. DO EXIT nay,nay, go out upon the world as if you still are the same as when the book first opened or the story started nay,nay, go back to your society to your races, to your clans your prayer, your religion slink back to your jobs run back to your homes forget and take comfort in the arms of reality so exit, do exit nay,nay, hold fast to your preconeptions never let go of your traditions maintain your illusions, keep your masks do not question forget about what thoughts gleamed from pearls or what dark mists was beaten away by the dreams of fools so exit, do exit (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 25th, 2002
3:22 pm	trip to athens -> from the gut all i wanted was to chill out with and talk with two friends in athens that i hadnt seen in awhile (P and J), see how their life has been going, have two people i want to talk to spend some time with me after i had such a stressful week helping with rush. but i didnt get to and it sucks. (some my fault, bad planning, bad timing, social ineptitude). im just mad at circumstance, not at people. grrrr....... -whiny bitch thorn (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 14th, 2002
2:14 am	of Vice and Virtue i think the way we see vices and virtues is a little one-sided. i would say that for each virtue there is a side to it that is a flaw, and for each vice there is a side to it that is a virtue. past the percieved/superficial boundary that we see, lies other things that we dont think about. lets take honesty. lots of people say they adore honesty, they treasure it, etc. but i dont think people know what honesty is, nor what it looks like. i think that through myth/society we have this percieved view of honesty being this great thing that we want, but when presented with the actual article, dont want it anymore or even see it as it is. what comes along with the package of honesty? wanting to speak the truth, which means disagreeing with people. pointing things out, making sure people know your intentions (which might make you seem defensive), etc. self-confidence: for awhile ive been trying to figure out what self-confidence is built on. and ive narrowed it down to 2 things. Bravado or self-centeredness. one is just an illusion, and the other one is being in a constant state of "i dont care". (damn, i had more of this in my head earlier but i lost it.) other things i was thinking about, thoughtfullness versus quick-thinking why is it that guys fall for ice queens and girls for assholes? well, one of my theories is that what we fall for are supposed virtues or attractive things, but are really just the skewed reflection of a flaw. -------------------------------- i spoke with a girl on aol a long time ago about her guy problems. she said that she had a fear of commitment, so she would try to harden her heart to keep people out. but at the same time she would end up falling for these assholes and get hurt. so i saw the connection, and told her, and she couldnt seem to understand that one probably was causing the other. if she built a deadly forest around her heart, then only the tough or the lucky would be able to get there. the (not-lucky-in-circumstance) sensitive nice guy will probably see the forest and go, well hell, id get my feelings trounced the whole fing way and thatl suck. but the confident asshole will be like, all right, lets go, il stop by for some tea on the way there. the deadlier the forest, the cooler the asshole will have to appear, the tougher his heart will have to be, the more snazzy hel appear to you, the worse you get hurt -> ad infinitum stupid girl. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 26th, 2002
3:14 pm	someone asked if killing was wrong, and why. so i figured id explain my viewpoint. I think killing people is wrong. as to the why -> long story but il shorten it. I think that only in how we interact with other people can there be wrong. (yes, that implies that anything one does by oneself isnt wrong. which i also believe) but more specifically, any time one person imposes his/her decision on another person thats when i consider it wrong OR when a person fails to meet the responsibilities towards other people that he/she said they would. so killing people would be the ultimate expression of the first case. justification....... i think of that meaning that you take a wrong thing and turn it into something that isnt so bad. lets say someone hires someone to kill me. they come for me. the instant they try anything, they are saying with their actions that is what they want. so if i only get shot in the arm and then raise my gun and shoot the person in the head. i dont think it was ever wrong. this is different than what people call self-defense. if a man comes at me with a baseball bat, it would be wrong for me to kill him. his actions are only saying he wants to beat the crap out of me. it wouldnt be wrong of me to shoot him in the leg. then the other leg, then grab the baseball bat and knock him once or twice. the stopping of other people enforcing their will on others (when your a bystander) is a topic left for another time if anyone is interested, hehe (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
10:55 pm	sometimes at night when im thinking, i want to run through a forest. i feel excited, exasperated, caged, free. thoughts and feeling coarsing through me. like a prisoner in this stone place,alone. i want to run like i did at the beach yesterday morning. wind hitting me, my feet hitting the foam with every step. except i dont want to stop. it feels great to move, to have my heart race. the rythm of the waves and my legs pumping. the repitition of muscles and breath. this is what i feel when i get a surge of thought. i saw something great, it made me think, to wonder, to hope. an episode of buffy the vampire slayer. sounds stupid but you have to find truth in even the silliest of places. those who say they need something great, to think of something great. is deluding themselves. anyways, back to the thought. first a backdrop. because like most of me, it takes time. not complicated, cause when its said and done its simple, but deep. there are two characters i can identify with in the show. xander and spike. spike knows himself well, and is not afraid to call it like it is. he also does things his own way. when xander is first introduced, hes a pushover. runs from battles. but he's funny. and every once in awhile he says something that everyone just stares at him cause they dont get it. but if you think about it for a moment it made sense. a lot of sense. but they dont take him seriously. back to the episode i saw. well buffy is running from a certain truth. and xander sees this. not only does he see it, but he confronts her. the truth is more important than if she gets mad at him. and he makes her realize something. it was just a powerful moment. not like physical powerful, but even better. one guy, taking the courage to stand up for whats right. knows hes going to piss her off, and can get the living snot beatin out of him. and even though he doesnt have to do it, he does it. long story short. seeing that made me have hope and made me think. that maybe i can make a positive difference in peoples lives. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
10:54 pm	sometimes at night when im thinking, i want to run through a forest. i feel excited, exasperated, caged, free. thoughts and feeling coarsing through me. like a prisoner in this stone place,alone. i want to run like i did at the beach yesterday morning. wind hitting me, my feet hitting the foam with every step. except i dont want to stop. it feels great to move, to have my heart race. the rythm of the waves and my legs pumping. the repitition of muscles and breath. this is what i feel when i get a surge of thought. i saw something great, it made me think, to wonder, to hope. an episode of buffy the vampire slayer. sounds stupid but you have to find truth in even the silliest of places. those who say they need something great, to think of something great. is deluding themselves. anyways, back to the thought. first a backdrop. because like most of me, it takes time. not complicated, cause when its said and done its simple, but deep. there are two characters i can identify with in the show. xander and spike. spike knows himself well, and is not afraid to call it like it is. he also does things his own way. when xander is first introduced, hes a pushover. runs from battles. but he's funny. and every once in awhile he says something that everyone just stares at him cause they dont get it. but if you think about it for a moment it made sense. a lot of sense. but they dont take him seriously. back to the episode i saw. well buffy is running from a certain truth. and xander sees this. not only does he see it, but he confronts her. the truth is more important than if she gets mad at him. and he makes her realize something. it was just a powerful moment. not like physical powerful, but even better. one guy, taking the courage to stand up for whats right. knows hes going to piss her off, and can get the living snot beatin out of him. and even though he doesnt have to do it, he does it. long story short. seeing that made me have hope and made me think. that maybe i can make a positive difference in peoples lives. (Comment on this)
10:03 pm	sometimes at night when im thinking, i want to run through a forest. i feel excited, exasperated, caged, free. thoughts and feeling coarsing through me. like a prisoner in this stone place,alone. i want to run like i did at the beach yesterday morning. wind hitting me, my feet hitting the foam with every step. except i dont want to stop. it feels great to move, to have my heart race. the rythm of the waves and my legs pumping. the repitition of muscles and breath. this is what i feel when i get a surge of thought. i saw something great, it made me think, to wonder, to hope. an episode of buffy the vampire slayer. sounds stupid but you have to find truth in even the silliest of places. those who say they need something great, to think of something great. is deluding themselves. anyways, back to the thought. first a backdrop. because like most of me, it takes time. not complicated, cause when its said and done its simple, but deep. there are two characters i can identify with in the show. xander and spike. spike knows himself well, and is not afraid to call it like it is. he also does things his own way. when xander is first introduced, hes a pushover. runs from battles. but he's funny. and every once in awhile he says something that everyone just stares at him cause they dont get it. but if you think about it for a moment it made sense. a lot of sense. but they dont take him seriously. back to the episode i saw. well buffy is running from a certain truth. and xander sees this. not only does he see it, but he confronts her. the truth is more important than if she gets mad at him. and he makes her realize something. it was just a powerful moment. not like physical powerful, but even better. one guy, taking the courage to stand up for whats right. knows hes going to piss her off, and can get the living snot beatin out of him. and even though he doesnt have to do it, he does it. long story short. seeing that made me have hope and made me think. that maybe i can make a positive difference in peoples lives. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 20th, 2002
9:13 pm	im a creature of repitition and habit. its hard to get something started, but once i do its easy to keep it up. i like the possible results of meeting new people, but not the process at first. the familiarity of things, people, or places i already know, is a comfort. sometimes though I like to try new things, or be spontanious. taking drives or walks to where i dont know. stopping off places ive never been to, just to see what its like. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 22nd, 2002
4:06 am	I havent updated here for a long time. I wrote another poem. Doing ok'ish in school but because of lack of motivation and how I feel, even if I dont fail out I am going to switch schools. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 2nd, 2002
4:09 am	I also have this really f**king cool idea for a new language. Based on a different way of encoding words. Well I thought of a number followed by a symbol as being a word. So there can be up to ten different meanings for the same word. Like all 1's = noun. 2's = verb. 3's = formal. etc. Like 1(symbol for "blue") = blue the color while 2(symbol for "blue") = blew the verb then for longer "words" just add another symbol onto it. Since english is only letters (26 variations) strung together, then this is more efficient in terms of space. Some of the sample symbols I have come up with so far have a visual meaning tied closely with the word. So another test is if most of the symbols are tied together with the meaning. I also thought that hand movements could be incorporated into speech to provide the same effect, only for a spoken language. The symbols I have come up with so far have hand movements that seem to "fit". Not only that but they could work independently. Such that someone who couldnt speak could use hand motions, and someone who couldnt use their hands/arms could speak. In those cases it would just be "simpler" and provide less depth but still be usable. need to figure out average word lenght, and average # of strokes per letter. I also need to find someone who knows conji so I can try to figure out whether my language is more effecient than conji. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
4:07 am	When I am alone, and its just me with my thoughts or me doing things, I am quite myself and feeling confident and not happy but content. I think I just need reassurance from those people who want to be my friends every once in awhile. Too bad people just are way too caught up with their own lives to think about me most of the time. So I was on my way to the technopoetry thing, and I felt good. And I remembered that most of the time when its just me and I am not thinking about anything sad I do feel good. That feeling lasted even when I was amidst people for most of it. If I can just hold onto that feeling. =) I also made this cool little ritual in my head. I took off my ring and wont be wearing it anymore unless.... I start doubting myself in which case I put on the ring and try to recapture the feeling. Hey, it worked for one day at least. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 31st, 2002
7:07 am	wow. that... sucked. someoen else I cared about just left me. and it seems like the permanent sort of way. i think there might be something wrong with me..... and if you happen to be fg or walking raven, dont comment please. (2 Comments |Comment on this)